


All the Pieces You Left

by Sangerin



Category: Spooks
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-20
Updated: 2007-09-20
Packaged: 2017-10-22 13:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sangerin/pseuds/Sangerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'There's something you're not telling me.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Pieces You Left

**Author's Note:**

> Post 5.5, including major spoilers for 3.10, 4.7, 5.1 and 5.5.  
> Title from the Dixie Chicks' song "Silent House"

She looked up one day and saw Ruth standing in the doorway.

The surprising thing was, she believed it. She didn't think she was dreaming. She simply accepted that Ruth was there, looking steadily at her but not saying a word.

'Ruth?' she said, finally, and Ruth smiled, crookedly; awkwardly.

'I don't know what to call you,' she admitted.

'Gina,' she said.

'Of course,' said Ruth. 'I remember.'

Ruth stood still in the doorway. Zoe hadn't moved from her chair. They looked silently across the gulf at each other, and then Zoe, slowly, swallowed her fears. 'What's happened, Ruth? Why are you here?'

'I had to find you.'

'Why?'

Ruth didn't reply, but her eyes and the movements of her facial muscles made it obvious that she wasn't talking because she didn't know how to say whatever had to be said. And so Zoe stood up, moving close enough to Ruth to lay her hand on Ruth's arm. Ruth drew in her breath.

'What is it?'

In a small voice, one Zoe hadn't heard since Ruth's first days on the Grid, Ruth replied, 'I don't know where to start.'

'Then sit down,' said Zoe, leading Ruth to a chair. 'You've left the service, haven't you?'

Ruth nodded.

'Why?'

'They thought I was a terrorist. They were going to charge Harry with murder, and worse, and he was trying to save me. He assaulted Oliver Mace,' the words seemed to tumble from her, 'and I couldn't let him do that, of course. So I took the blame for the murder, and then I died in the Thames – it's surprisingly easy to arrange for bodies to turn up in the river, did you know? And, well, that was that,' she finished.

'When was all this?'

'A few months ago,' said Ruth. 'But Zoe… you won't know, they wouldn't have told you. It's Danny…'

It had happened two years ago, but a lump still rose in Zoe's throat. 'I know about Danny,' she said. 'Harry told me.'

'Harry?' said Ruth.

Zoe nodded. 'He got a message through. I cried for days.'

Ruth reached out her hand to grab Zoe's. 'We all did. I didn't know he told you. I wish I had.'

'I'm…' Zoe hesitated. 'I'm glad he did. I'd rather know than not.'

Ruth took a breath. 'Fiona's dead, too,' she said, the words tumbling out in a rush. 'And… Colin. He was killed on an operation.'

'Colin's dead?' Zoe asked. ' _Colin_?' And although she'd cried for days when she'd left England, and again when she'd realised that her relationship with Will simply wouldn't work, and yet again when Harry's message had arrived, _this_ was the moment when she felt that she had truly shattered into pieces. Colin was not meant to be dead. Colin being dead was simply not in Zoe's understanding of the world.

Ruth nodded. 'Colin. Horribly,' she added, with a hitch in her voice, and at that, Zoe finally allowed herself to cry.

'How's Malcolm?' she asked, eventually, through her tears.

'Terribly, horribly calm,' said Ruth.

'And now you're gone as well,' said Zoe. 'Oh, Ruth!'

'Zoe, I don't know how you did it… Saying goodbye to Harry…'

'To Harry… I was thinking of Malcolm. Poor dear man,' she added. She looked up, and noticed Ruth's blush. She raised her eyebrows. 'There's something you're not telling me.'

'Harry… oh, Zoe, I miss him.'

'You were – '

'We never quite…'

'Oh, Ruth,' said Zoe, leaning over to wrap her arms around Ruth. 'Oh, you poor dear.'

'I'm okay,' said Ruth, her face wet with tears.

'No, you're not. How long ago?'

'Six months, maybe? I've heard nothing from England since I left, and I'm terrified…'

'…to hear anything, in case something has happened?' finished Zoe. 'I know.'

'I miss him.'

'I've missed you every day,' said Zoe. 'You, and Harry, and Danny, and Tom, and I know it's not the same…'

'Do you miss Tessa?' Ruth asked.

Zoe paused. 'Not at all, and with every cell in my body, all at once,' she said.

'Then you know how I feel,' said Ruth, and kissed her.

* * *

Ruth stayed long enough to fall into a routine; to fill Zoe's lonely flat off an alley off an avenue with the signs of life of more than one person; long enough to settle down and create a home. Long enough to begin to put herself back together, and to convince Zoe that life wouldn't be the same without her.


End file.
